Joy requires that we break down all the barriers we’ve built around ourselves. It asks us to suspend the rational or logical machinations of our minds, and open ourselves to the unseen. To be led by something different, perhaps more wild, than we’ve previously allowed.
The weekend joy reclaimed me, I was surrounded by bamboo, incongruously in the middle of an old growth forest. I knew I couldn’t keep going the way I had been, but I wasn’t sure what to do instead. So I gave myself a challenge. It was something my busy-bee mind could latch onto without thinking I’d completely lost it. I stepped into the bamboo thicket with one simple rule: I would find my path simply by following the puddles of light on the forest floor. With every step, light was to be my guide…not logic.
So, I let myself follow the spotlit path as the sun flickered through the bamboo grove, small golden beacons pulling me forward. I leapt from one point to the next, moving with them, trusting the path they traced. I ventured deeper, and the light kept leading me on—until, suddenly, it didn’t.
A dead end. A thick tangle of bamboo, crossed exactly like an X, blocked my way. I stared at it, incredulous. Wait—seriously? All that, just to end up here? Wasn’t this supposed to be my moment?! The doorway to the answers I needed!?
And then, almost instinctively, I looked up.
Just as I did, a gust of wind swept across the tops of the bamboo, setting them swaying in a silent, effortless dance against the bright blue sky. It was awe-inspiring. The X that had seemed so final, transformed in that moment—not a stop, but a marker. X marks the spot.
In following the light, I found myself exactly where I needed to be.
In order to meet that moment I had to release control to forces outside myself, and do two things:
I had to trust that I was safe and in good hands, enough to suspend the part of my brain that wanted control.
I had to be completely connected to the present moment – not what came before or what came after, just one spot at a time – knowing that the next spot would appear when I was ready.
This is how joy works. It’s not waiting for us in the future, it is here. It is now. It is right in front of us. All it requires is that we let go enough to allow it.
I know that reading these words on a page might make it sound simple—but I’ll be the first to acknowledge it is not. The inner work of letting go and opening ourselves to the present moment is some of the hardest work we’ll ever do. It takes immense courage to choose differently, when we live in a world that teaches us—rewards us, even—for being hard, being logical, being in control. All. The. Time.
To lean into joy, we must:
Loosen the hold of our egos.
Most of us were raised inside ego-based cultures. Just today, I was talking with friends about raising sons—we share a deep fear of toxic masculinity, of the conditioning that teaches might-makes-right. The belief that we must always know best, and that power equals worth.
So when we begin to loosen the grip of ego—even just a little—we’re already doing something radical. We’re bucking the trend. And that alone takes courage.
It can be confronting—not only to those around us who don’t understand what we’re doing, but also to ourselves. Even if we’re self-aware, even if we know we’re consciously choosing this path, setting ego aside still feels hard.
Because it asks us to admit, maybe we don’t have it all figured out. And maybe—more difficult to accept—we never will. Maybe we’re not meant to.
Instead, what if we trusted the unseen? What if we allowed the possibility that something bigger than us is at play?
To loosen ego, to trust the unseen, to allow joy, means we need a solid bank of self compassion + self knowledge.
This means facing ourselves. Not just the curated versions we present to the world—but the tender, raw, messy parts we’d rather not see. The parts we buried long ago to stay safe. And not just facing them—but embracing them. With kindness. With honesty. With compassion. That’s no small task.
The slow work.
The kind of work that unfolds over seasons, not days.
Think of how many years it took to build our personas—the defenses, the masks, the coping strategies that helped us survive. They don’t disappear overnight. You can’t dismantle a castle with a single swing of a hammer.
And sustaining the momentum of this journey— that, too, is its own form of courage. To keep going when it gets hard. When you hit a wall. When you feel alone. When you lose friendships—because you’ve grown and they haven’t. Or not in the same direction.
This is brave.
The reward for all of this – the perseverance, the hard conversations, the lonely moments of change – is a fuller expression of your own joy. The room in your life that you’ve created for more light to enter. And if you’re wondering how to find your way forward from here, just keep following the puddles of sunshine.
They may seem small or scattered at first, but they are leading you, one glimmer at a time, towards your X marks the spot. Toward the version of you that feels most true, most free, most alive.
Want to go deeper? Join the free 3-Day Joy Journey at Slow Fox Wellness.
Before you go…
An easy-peasy way to share this work with others?
Click on the ❤️ if you like it
Leave a 💬 comment to tell me more
🔄 to share with your pals on Substack
If you’ve been thinking about becoming a paid subscriber, this series is a meaningful place to begin. Your support makes it possible for me to keep creating work that’s thoughtful and rooted in something deeper than the noise. You can cancel any time.
Equally powerful? Sharing this with others. If five friends join Slow Fox Life through your referral link, I’ll gift you two free months as a thank you.
Love the idea of joy as a reclaiming force! How fantastic. It truly is radical imho. Plus just rad like you and this fab Substack
🦊🫶